Sizing Myself

So, I’ve been thinking ( a lot) lately that I would really  LOVE to be into my regular pre-pregnancy clothes.  I keep watching “What Not To Wear” (yes, this is how I spend my Friday nights) and I think… “Well, I could pull of that look with such and such that I have in a bin under my bed”….  I hate it that I have been so many sizes in my life. 

I actually have worn more sizes than I’ve actually been because I was so embarrassed by my body from about age eleven to seventeen that I would wear pants from the men’s section and incredibly large T-shirts for my frame in order to hide every single curve I might have had.  I am so glad that in my junior year of high school I started realizing that I should wear clothes I want to wear even if I might not have a perfect body.  I started wearing clothes that were actually my size, and started looking instantly smaller. 

Someone had mentioned that I had somewhat of a tummy when I was eleven (when I really just needed better posture) and I did all kinds of exercise programs to “get skinny” which never happened but I was in actually in pretty good shape. I just didn’t happen to have a pretty shape (due to scoliosis that never was diagnosed until my junior year).    Anyway, I would run around the track at the school, I’d run down the canal road behind my house, I would run everywhere that I could to get in shape.  I also weight trained and did kick-boxing.  By the time I was 20, I would run 3-5 miles 4 times a week, and alternate kick-boxing, yoga and weights on the off days.  I was pretty much a maniac.  The frustrating thing was during that whole time from sophomore year to the summer I turned 20 I never even changed sizes.  It was insane literally.  I could not get down past a size 12.

Around the time I met Jared, something magical happened I limited my self to one treat once a week (so anything sugary) and I started only working out 3 times a week.  I was having too much fun playing tennis with Jared and my running began to be substituted for tennis 2-3 times a week and I dropped all of my other workouts to be with him.  Starting at that time I started losing weight with almost no effort at all.  I was down to a size 10 by mid-July and an 8 by early September when he asked me to marry him.  I stopped working out at about that time because of the difficulty of mixing school with exercise and I miraculously fit into a size 6 wedding dress by October!

I pretty much tapered off on weight loss after that but I was incredibly comfortable with myself.  I think it’s because I could see myself as a worthwhile person who someone loved.  I wasn’t worried about what anyone really thought because I was so happy with my life and I had found a true best friend.  I was really in seventh heaven.

Fast forward a year and a half.  It turned out that I needed a spinal fusion from my sacrum to the bottom of my neck.  I was so sick after surgery that I lost about 20 lbs just from a lack of nutrition.  That was nice (in a way) but the doctor had messed with my hips to make them not have to move too much during childbirth and so I became permanently a 10 or an 8 in regular pants no matter how little weight I carried because that was my lowest weight in 20 years.

Fast forward two more years.  I gave birth to a beautiful little boy and my hips spread so much in one day that I went from a size 11 to a 16!  I got stretch marks on the side of my hips they spread so fast.

After having Christian, I slowly (and I mean slowly) went back to a comfortable size for me which was 20 lbs heavier than I started out pregnant with him.  Then we decided it was time for number two.  I steadily gained weight at an okay rate and then I had my appendectomy and couldn’t lift anything and so I gained 10 lbs in two weeks.  After that my weight gain was steady again but all-in-all I weighed 54 lbs more than I did before I ever got pregnant with Christian in the first place.   

Here I am just having had baby number two.  I watched an episode of “Martha” where her trainer mentioned that if you don’t lose the “baby-weight” within the first year after being pregnant, it will become doubly hard to get rid of the weight.  I started with the “’Special K’ Challenge”  and started working out the next day after seeing that.  I have actually lost 24 lbs since giving birth and I only need to go down another 10 to be back to my pre-pregnancy weight (from this time). 

The only thing is, I really would like to get back to the weight I was before I had Christian.  Will I get there?  I don’t know… It depends on how much motivation I can muster.  So, I’m continuing my efforts to lose 30 lbs but I’m going to post periodically about what I’m doing to lose that extra weight and maybe any fun healthy recipes that I may being using as well.

So far, I’m on the South Beach Diet and I’m doing some kind of aerobic exercise 3 times a week and some kind of strength exercise 2 days a week.  Hopefully I’ll stay motivated and get  to a place where I feel more comfortable in my skin (and most especially, my old clothes) as soon as I can (Maybe by Summer?!).